In case i ever forget, these are the memories you left with me.

1. i miss the way you smile.
2. i miss the way you walk.
3. i miss the way you smirk.
4. i miss your body smell.
5. i miss your hug.
6. i miss your kiss.
7. i miss the way you squeeze my face.
8. i miss watching you sleep.
9. i miss holding your hands.
10. i miss the way you say 'miss you' before you hang up the phone.
11. i miss the breakfast you cooked with heart chocolates added.
12. i miss taking long bus rides with you.
13. i miss lying on your shoulders and sleep.
14. i miss how you always like to call me a cat.
15. i miss the way you laugh at me and my carbon monoxide joke.
16. i miss the way you smell my hair.
17. i miss the way you snore.
18. i miss how you always laugh at our big faces.
19. i miss how you can memorise every word from my blog.
20. i miss how you are always looking at my friendster.
21. i miss the times you studied with me even though you dont have exams.
22. i miss the times you cycle out just to buy the calling card.
23. i miss the times you wait for me after school.
24. i miss how you always ask me which pair of specs look nicer on you.
25. i miss how you always look at every mirror we see when we shop.
26. i miss how you always get so jealous at small little stuff.
27. i miss bickering with you but most of the time you win.
28. i miss how you always give in to me though most of the time i'm wrong.
29. i miss the smell of your giorgio armani cologne.
30. i miss how you always ask me if you're alright.
31. i miss how you always read the messages in my inbox.
32. i miss how you always play racing car on my phone.
33. i miss how you always brag about yourself.
34. i miss how you always try and make me jealous.
35. i miss how you are always so confident of yourself.
36. i miss how you always hug me when i cry and tell me everything will be alright. 37. i miss how you always encourage me when i dont do well.
38. i miss how you always squeeze my tummy and laugh at how fat i am.
39. i miss how you always give me surprises.
40. i miss the way you look into my eyes.
41. i miss eating prata with you.
42. i miss celebrating monthlyversaries with you.
43. i miss the times you tell me i'm pretty.
44. i miss the way you look at me.
45. i miss having long night walks with you.
46. i miss waking up beside you.
47. i miss eating water rise chicken wings with you.
48. i miss playing msn games with you.
49. i miss receiving flowers from you.
50. i miss having serious talks with you.
51. i miss the times you told me how much you love me cos i was different from other girls.
52. i miss the times you make me feel special.
53. i miss the fact that you're my boyfriend/bestfriend/confidant/sunshine
54. i miss times you wait for me after tuition.
55. i miss fighting with you but always losing cos you're so strong.
56. i miss how you always get angry when i mention the word 'die'.
57. i miss getting presents for you.
58. i miss watching tv with you.
59. i miss singing with you in the car especially to our favourite songs.
60. i miss the times you sent me off at the airport.
61. i miss the times you were at the airport to receive me and cheer me up.
62. i miss the times when you would listen to what i've gotta say.
63. i miss the times when i was still important to you.
64. i miss the times when you would be so brave even though you're sick.
65. i miss the times when you go to church with me.
66. i miss eating at chomp chomp with you.
67. i miss laughing at the photos of you when you were young.
68. i miss the times when you were down at block.
69. i miss the times when u slept at the playground.
70. i miss the times when you got worried when i have cramps.
71. i miss the times you got irritated when i kept talking about shopping.
72. i miss the times you got angry cos your comp gets more attention than you do.
73. i miss slapping your face in a playful way of course.
74. i miss the times you throw the bolster away cos i'm hugging the bolster instead of you.
75. i miss watching you make your hair.
76. i miss having long car rides with you.
77. i miss the times when we can just cuddle up at your place and watch tv.
78. i miss the times when we have home cooked dinner at your place.
79. i miss the times we waved at each other from my place.
80. i miss the times you always told me not to give up.
81. i miss the times you did silly stuff just to make me jealous.
82. i miss the times we read magazines/newspaper together.
83. i miss the times when we somehow got lost at the esplanade.
84. i miss laughing at you cos u have a spelling/pronunciation disorder.
85. i miss the times you wrote on a list of paper what you wana tell me in case you forgot.
86. i miss using your very rough bath towel.
87. i miss the times you got shy when i want to look at your not so fit body.
88. i miss the times you said 'i dare say you're the girl i love the most in the world'
89. i miss the times you asked why didnt i text you cos i was busy.
90. i miss having long talks with you on the phone till we both got so tired.
91. i miss how you can talk to daddy and made him like you.
92. i miss the times we got so excited cos we had free sweet&spicy drumlets.
93. i miss watching you dressed in formal cos you look oh-so-good.
94. i miss the times when me and richard gang up against you and it made you angry.
95. i miss the very first time we met and hugged.
96. i miss falling in love with you even before we met.
97. i miss the shouting and screaming cos we quarrelled and refused to give in.
98. i miss eating popcorn and watching movies with you.
99. i miss having the world of our own.
100. i miss the 1st of may.
101. i miss the fact that you are mine and i am yours and it's just the two of us in love like never before.

8:56 PM;

Hello from Kuching! It's been a week since i'm back here. The other day i was on the plane, they announced that there was a turbulence and the plane was shaking real bad. I thought i'm gonna be so freaked out and start crying like i used to but surprisingly, i wasnt scared at all. I saw the tensed up faces on everyone but i was pretty calm. I used to fear death alot, and i mean ALOT but not anymore. Maybe it was after reading the book, a second dawn. If a dying man can have so much faith and not fear death at all, why should i even be afraid? It definitely changes my perspective on alot of things. (: I MISS ALL OF YOU BACK IN SG! drop me a sms if you all miss me too okay! i have roaming! haha =D

9:10 PM;

Today's a really meaningful day. Actually i'm supposed to leave today but dad wanted me to attend felicia's wedding. Went church in the afternoon and got myself a book. The title is ' How to love again : Moving from grief to growth'. It's not just about surviving break ups or broken marriages. It can be about a serious illness, or losing a job, or even the end of a friendship. I'm gonna lend it to aunty mag after i finished reading it. She lost my uncle to cancer 2 years ago and she has been such a strong woman. (:

Went for felicia's wedding at downtown east and can you believe it she's only like 21 years old. hahah her husband is 30, which makes him 9 years older than her. My dad is 9 years older than my mum too. I think i'll probably end up in my mum's footsteps too cos i like mature guys. I seriously cant stand childish guys with no motives or goals in their life.

Met pat at expo after that and we went to Times book fair. The books there were really cheap and i got myself two more books, Perfect Peace & Tales of Total Forgiveness. It was so crowded as if the books were free. We headed down to tm and had long john's. I've not been eating much recently and today was an improvement according to pat. Pat has been so sweet she talked to me on the phone everynight just to put me to bed cos i couldnt sleep. If i continue not eating and sleeping i think i'm going to die soon :( We shopped around and i got myself another book and she got herself a pair of shoes. In total i spent like 50 bucks on books today. haha i think i qualify to be a bookworm.

LESLIE says:
woman i am gonna miss u can
LESLIE says:
miss eating 85 with u

That put a smile on my face. I'll miss you too and of course the rest of you all. You know who you are.

So much things have happened these few months i guess i need a break. Actually i'm rather confused. When i didnt try, i lost. But when i tried too hard, i lost too. I guess aunty irene was right. Until i've reached the point of being able to forgive totally, then it'll lead to healing, pure joy and freedom. It's hard and almost none of us can do it cos pride gets in the way. I really wonder how it feels like to be really free. Pat thinks i'm silly to be still doing things for someone who already lost the appreciation for me, but it's comforting to hear that she understands why i'm doing all these. Sometimes people do or say things which they dont mean to so i understand. Cos at one point of time i was blind and couldnt see things clearly too. Whatever you do was just irritating to me. I guess you're feeling the same way now which explains all the mean things you say. It's okay i forgive you though it really hurts. I really hope you'll forgive me too? In the meantime, i'll still keep you in my prayers. Mummy says thats the only thing i can do for you now. Sometimes i feel like i'm losing faith because god doesnt seem to hear me but i guess it's just not the right time yet. Remember you are courageous, so dont let this bring you down alright? Keep safe and till then...
GOODBYE.

8:07 AM;

So much things to do/say but yet so little time left. I really wana watch Ratatouille. :( It's so frigging cute!

9:02 AM;

Tell me i'm the last person on earth to know this. I didnt know keely wee, the female champ from campus superstar was from dunman high! Anyway i'm really proud to be a dunmanian and i never regretted being one either. We studied hard and played hard at the same time so we dont get deprived of the fun the rest of you had either. I feel that we are really one big and close knitted family cos we get along so well with people from other classes as well.

And the bonus is that dunman high girls look really good. It's not only what i think but that's what guys from other schools told me as well. HAHAHA alright you may say i'm the exception but whatever. Dunman high girls are not only pretty but they have the brains as well. What more can a guy ask for? lol and dont think we are cheena ppl just because we're from a chinese school. We are bilingual and most of the time we speak better english than most 'non-cheena' ppl do. Okay i think this can go on forever. lol

Anyway caught Rush Hour 3 with Weyzi yesterday. It was really hilarious x10000. Thanks for taking your precious time out from mugging to watch it with me. I'm sure you'll do well for A's so have some faith in yourself. (:

Met Von-ness and Leslie after that for some shopping. Seriously, shopping doesnt make me happy anymore. I wonder what does? We decided to be high class aunties and uncle and we went to paragon and shop. I want this really pretty brown bag from miu miu. In case you didnt know, Miu Miu is a clothing line from the Prada fashion house. I've always wanted to be fashion designer though how unrealistic it might sound. It's better than being some scientist, no?

I'm rather pissed and disappointed at someone. I shall not mention who cos he reads my blog. You should know who you are. I used to believe in friendship but you proved me wrong. Thankyouverymuch at least i've seen your true colours.

DAMN IT. I JUST BURNT MY THUMB LIKE THE 100TH TIME ALREADY. IT'S RED AND COOKED. :( WHEN WILL I BE LESS CLUMSY?

8:16 PM;

Hello. I wanted to blog about something interesting last week but didnt have time so here it is. It's regarding a married couple and their religion. My mum has this friend who is a roman catholic but her husband is a buddhist. It's only recently that i heard they started quarrelling cos she wants to go to church but he is against it. It's really ridiculous cos they've been married for like more than 15 years(they have a 15 years old daughter) and only now they started talking about this issue? Oh ya by the way she's 8/9 years older than her husband. haha amazing huh? She used me as an excuse to go church by saying that i'm alone in singapore and i need company. Ahh i dont know why but i felt sad after hearing all these from my mum. I wouldnt want my future husband to stop me from going church just because he's not a catholic. I mean if going to church helps me in being a better person in all ways and allows me to be at peace then why not? I feel that it's only right that we respect each other's religion. Ahh what do you think?

I just want to tell you I love you, and everything is gonna be okay someday soon.

I've been to just about a million places,
With placid seas and perfect scenery,
But just to know you're right here with me,
Well you make the perfect company.

Oh my God its true,If time stood still I'd wait with you,
If time stood still and still it stood I'd be with you

8:49 PM;

Am i the only one who have yet to mention that the EXAMS ARE OVER? Actually it doesnt really matter to me cos i screwed it upside down anyway. I hope the school gets caught on fire and the papers will all be burnt to ash! Sometimes i can really get quite imaginative. haha

Regarding my previous post, I've decided not to be selfish. For now i wont say what is it about. Maybe you all will know once the time is right. The future is rather unpredictable anyway.

I realised that there are some things in life which are not up to my control. Maybe when you realised that then you wont be so hard on yourself anymore cos there's no point. We all know that sometimes putting in your best doesnt mean you get what you desire either but it's the process that matters right? At least you've tried your best and there's no regrets whatever the outcome is. Remember, God leaves obstacles and surprises along the way. Look out for the surprises that might appear anytime instead of thinking of the obstacles that will bring you down. (:

Alright i'm so bored watching hip hop countdown on mtv. Going church at 6 later so from now till i go church i have officially nothing to do! I'm too lazy to go out and buy food too. yay welcome the slim charlene. haha

9:12 PM;