So much things have happened these few months i guess i need a break. Actually i'm rather confused. When i didnt try, i lost. But when i tried too hard, i lost too. I guess aunty irene was right. Until i've reached the point of being able to forgive totally, then it'll lead to healing, pure joy and freedom. It's hard and almost none of us can do it cos pride gets in the way. I really wonder how it feels like to be really free. Pat thinks i'm silly to be still doing things for someone who already lost the appreciation for me, but it's comforting to hear that she understands why i'm doing all these. Sometimes people do or say things which they dont mean to so i understand. Cos at one point of time i was blind and couldnt see things clearly too. Whatever you do was just irritating to me. I guess you're feeling the same way now which explains all the mean things you say. It's okay i forgive you though it really hurts. I really hope you'll forgive me too? In the meantime, i'll still keep you in my prayers. Mummy says thats the only thing i can do for you now. Sometimes i feel like i'm losing faith because god doesnt seem to hear me but i guess it's just not the right time yet. Remember you are courageous, so dont let this bring you down alright? Keep safe and till then...
GOODBYE.